"My knees ache on the uphill climb,
Yet the mind bounds like a stag, a robust blue bull.
As I devoured the deep-fried, syrup-soaked Jalebi, I remembered you.
As I wiped the sugar syrup on my belt, I remembered you.
Seeing the motor road from afar, I remembered you.
What’s more—even as I looked at you, I remembered you."
The lines above belong to Viren Dangwal Ji. For me, this is the most beautiful Hindi love poem—and perhaps it always will be.
Dangwal Ji titled it "अधेड़ नैनीताल, उधेड़बुन" (Aged Nainital, Agony & Ecstasy). It is hard to tell when the poem speaks of Nainital and when it speaks of love. In truth, it is a sequence of five short poems strung together under a single title.
I am no scholar or critic of Hindi literature, so I cannot tell you which formal genre or style these fall into. But I doubt Dangwal Ji was pondering classical literary forms while penning them. Whenever I read this poem, the narai (nostalgia) it stirs leaves my heart brimming. The blend of love, Nainital, and advancing age yields a very distinct vantage point. Dangwal Ji must surely have been drenched in love while writing these lines.
What forces me to think even deeper is how memories of love become bound to a place. This isn't new; it has been happening for thousands of years.
"Kunjan mein keli karat, Radha sang Vanamali.
Surahit pawan suhavano, mand mand chalai rasal."
(The forest-dweller plays in the groves with Radha, as a fragrant, gentle breeze blows softly.)
Is this picture about the divine pair, Radha-Krishna, or about the kunj (the grove)? Is the grove as essential to this imagery as Radha and Mohan are to love itself? What is the "place" of the grove in love?
Consider these lines from Tulsidas:
"Prabhu Siya Lakhan baith ek thai. Ramya kanan munibrind suhai.
Mudit Ram sundar van dekha. Bhayau sukhi sab mita bisesha."
(Lord Ram, Sita, and Lakshman sit together in one place. The charming forest pleases the congregation of sages. Ram gazes upon the beautiful forest with a delighted heart; all sorrow dissolves, leaving only joy.)
The forest is beautiful, and beholding it makes the mind feel serene. Ram looks at this forest with joy. In truth, Tulsidas is gazing—with deep love—at Sita and Ram amidst the wilderness. What is the role of the "forest" in their love?
The Geography of Love
What does love have to do with forests, rivers, lakes, and mountains? Doesn't love exist in slums, in filth, in pain, and in suffering?
Of course it does. Yet, we do not inherently associate love with suffering. Even in times of immense hardship, lovers yearn to escape to a place where—as the song goes—there is no sorrow, no tears, only love.
It goes without saying, but some truths bear repeating: love is the most exquisite emotion ever conceived in the human mind.
Emerging research suggests that the capacity to love was a crucial milestone in human evolution. While affection exists across the animal kingdom as a natural phenomenon, the conscious understanding and celebration of love is uniquely human. Scientific explanations often reduce love to a complex interplay of neurochemicals and hormonal surges during youth. But it is so much more than a "chemical reaction" inside the body.
To love, one needs a society, a sociology, and perhaps most importantly, a geography—a landscape that offers a sanctuary for affection. A place where a couple can feel private even amidst a crowd, or speak their heart out under an open sky.
Love demands space—whether it is Bandstand in Mumbai, Lodhi Garden in Delhi, the banks of Nainital Lake, or the woods enclosing it. Love flourishes in spaces forged at the intersection of nature and society. Commons—our shared community resources—are not just vital for livelihoods; they are indispensable for love.
┌─────────────────────────┐
│ NATURE & LANDSCAPE │
└────────────┬────────────┘
│
Flourishes in Shared Spaces
│
┌────────────▼────────────┐
│ COMMONS FOR LOVE │
└────────────┬────────────┘
│
Sustained by Social Institutions
│
┌────────────▼────────────┐
│ Mela / Ghotul / Parks │
└─────────────────────────┘
The foundation of love rests upon memory. A cherished landscape, kept alive in memory for years, keeps the spark of love lit throughout a lifetime. Memories of love are archived like dried flowers pressed between the pages of a book—captured in countless photographs, rooted in a specific location: a forest, a riverbank, a mountain peak, a trail, a park, or an old heritage building.
It is hard to say whether love fosters an affinity for nature, or if nature inspires love.
What is it about these places that allows love to bloom? How does love choose its sanctuaries, and how do we intuitively know a space is right for love?
Fairs and Social Commons: The Infrastructure for Affection
Among the most popular sanctuaries for love are local fairs (melas). Fairs have historically been hosted on communal lands. By gathering large crowds, they provide lovers with a veil of social anonymity and a temporary escape from rigid societal constraints. They create a space where barriers of class and caste can be transcended, giving the laws of attraction the freedom to work without meddling societal rules.
Fairs offer everything that creates a fertile ground for romance: bright lights, thrilling rides, rich flavors, and games—all the ingredients of wonder and excitement that stoke the heart.
You may have heard of the Bhagoriya Mela of Jhabua in Madhya Pradesh. Held just before Holi, this fair traditionally allows young lovers to meet. They express their affection, apply gulal (colored powder), and offer a betel leaf (paan) to declare their love. Fairs are, in essence, an essential infrastructure for love to thrive.
Societal conflicts regarding how much space love should be granted are ongoing. Yet, the very societies that often throw obstacles in love's path also keep open small windows where love can bloom.
In the Bastar and Gadchiroli regions, among the Gond Adivasis, exists the Ghotul system. The Ghotul is a village-based institution, similar to a communal youth dormitory, where adolescent boys and girls live together. During this phase of life, when youthful energy is at its peak, these young people contribute to community work while also choosing their life partners.
Adivasi society is, in many ways, far ahead of mainstream society in its maturity regarding love. Others have much to learn from them. Though the Ghotul system ought to have served as a model of progressive social design, regressive attitudes have pushed it to the margins—right alongside the rest of our environmental commons. Yet, the Ghotul remains a vital commons: a commons for love.
Mainstream Approach Adivasi Approach (Ghotul)
┌────────────────────┐ ┌───────────────────────────┐
│ • Taboo & Control │ │ • Shared Responsibilities │
│ • Hidden Spaces │ VS │ • Open Social Spaces │
│ • Marginalization │ │ • Freedom of Choice │
└────────────────────┘ └───────────────────────────┘
Reimagining Development: The "Love-Map"
As social workers, we consider community participation in development to be a key indicator of success. Every development professional is trained in PRA (Participatory Rural Appraisal)—a toolkit used to map village resources, identify patterns of social inequality, and foster an environment of equity.
Over time, however, PRA has turned into a mechanical ritual—devoid of soul, driven merely by guidelines. Engaging young people under these rigid frameworks is becoming increasingly difficult.
Why don't we create a "Love-Map" of the village alongside the standard resource maps?
Youth would likely be drawn to such an exercise. In a society where discussing love publicly is still considered scandalous, a "Love-Map" could unlock an entirely new dimension of human-centered development. Society might resist it initially. But why not imagine what becomes possible if it accepts it?
Homo Loving Sapiens
Love is an immensely powerful force. When directed toward one's country, it becomes patriotism; when directed toward nature, it becomes environmentalism. Recently, in Dehradun, we witnessed how the resistance of "nature lovers" forced the government to stall its abhorrent plans to fell thousands of trees.
In such moments, we glimpse the true power of love. In truth, only those who love nature can truly understand love, and only a loving heart can truly care for nature. A resentful mind can hardly cherish anything, let alone nature.
That is why when I see naturalists planting trees, spotting birds in the woods, or defending forests from deforestation, I see infinite possibilities for love within them.
For thousands of years, nature has been running an evolutionary project to refine humanity. Those who love are an integral part of that project. Human evolution was not just about the development of intellect; it was equally about the expansion of our capacity to love.
The commons are the living laboratories where human society collaborates with nature in this evolutionary project. I believe we ought to call ourselves "Homo Loving Sapiens" rather than just Homo Sapiens, bringing to light the pivotal role love has played in evolutionary history.
We should research and teach what "commons for lovers" were created across the Indus Valley, Egyptian, Chinese, or Roman civilizations to keep love alive. Town planners and architects should draw inspiration from this to design villages and cities where shared, welcoming spaces are easily accessible to lovers.
Our creators, poets, and philosophers are the true treasures of our society. My humble plea is that we listen to them carefully.
As I wrap up my thoughts, I feel compelled to leave behind a couplet by Parveen Shakir—one that always echoes in my mind whenever I catch the earthy scent of rain-soaked woods:
"Teri chahat ke bheoge jangalon mein,
Mera man mor banke naachtai."
(In the rain-drenched forests of your desire,
My mind dances like a peacock.)
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